Treatise On Disgusting Habits, Vol. I: Chew

redman

We all chewed tobacco some in college. We had the major brands rated. Lowest to highest went Beech-Nut, Red Man, Red Man Golden Blend, Levi Garrett, and the Gold Standard: Lancaster. That one was hard to come by–they didn’t sell it at the Busy Bee–so a pouch of Lancaster proffered for communal use left you in good standing.

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We all eventually gave it up. Chewing tobacco doesn’t really pay off long term if you like women and/or your teeth.

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Fact: Chewing tobacco while fishing in crowded places is a great way to secure at least 50 square feet of solitude.

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Fact: Chewing tobacco while fishing ditches, canals, and residential lakes in the exurbs keeps people from coming too close and asking questions. It allows you, without speaking, to declare that you do not wish to be socially engaged.

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Like drinking Southern Comfort, chewing tobacco is never as enjoyable or as satisfying as you once thought. Yet every so often you fool yourself into thinking that it might be. Lesson never learned.

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Sampling chewing tobacco left in your boat bag from three years prior is highly inadvisable.

15 thoughts on “Treatise On Disgusting Habits, Vol. I: Chew”

  1. I learned a valuable lesson once from a big chew of Cannonball plug tobacco. I had no idea that I could throw up that much.

    I also learned that the one time you try to drive the 10 miles home without a spit cup you will be detained in a license check with the choice of spitting out the window on the officers shoes or swallowing. Good thing that Hawkin was mostly ground birch. I gave up shortly thereafter.

  2. there is a pretty funny story in one of Jim Babb’s books about accurately determining the age/era of an old fishing vest he found in his closet by recalling when in his life he smoked the particular brand of cigarettes that were rotting away in one of the pockets.

    with regard to rankings, i offer only the tops in each category:
    for whole leaf: definitely Levi
    for snuff: copenahgen.

  3. Murdock I am the founder of the Hells Kitchen Fly Fishing Advisory. I am also the membership.

    Never went the dip route, but for those who did Cope was predominant but a few stuck by Kodiak.

  4. I with pete on the big league chew…Does wonders for your teeth. I was always a fan of skoal fine cut original back in the day. Not very proud of it..but damn at times i still look for it.

  5. As a guide buddy of mine says (who supplies me occasionally with discount-brand long cut Grizzly and drinks Early Times bourbon by the plastic handle), “In these economic times, why pay more to kill yourself?”

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