Agent Foster Grant*

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FGs

I dig cheap sunglasses. I used to buy counterfeit Oakley jackets for five bucks in Midtown until I feared they were burning out my retinas. And I started fishing heavily.

On the water switching from regular (street-legal) polarized to Costa 580 lenses rocked my world. I have two pair and the frames don’t fit me right but I don’t care because they give me HD X-Ray vision.

I don’t wear my HD shades on the street anymore. They are susceptible to the indelicate hands of my two young children, who like to grab them bend them smudge them and, in the younger’s case, use them as a teething biscuit.

For that reason alone I hit the Walgreen’s circular-spinning sunglass rack and found a bitchin pair of polarized Foster Grants. My long-term evaluation sizes up the pros and cons of dime-store shades.

GOOD FOR:

Driving, sacrificial shades with kids, dropping, stuffing in pockets, hangover softening, sticking on top of hats

BAD FOR:

Fishing

*Alonzo Mosely, Midnight Run

2 thoughts on “Agent Foster Grant*”

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