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What We Do Is Secret

Thursday, August 5th, 2010

Today I met Bukowski. Or maybe it was Jim Harrison. Or maybe just someone else with all the manic cravings but none of the talent. He had a brown paper bag and he sat on the park bench without his shirt. He held open a leather-bound writing journal.

The water turned green over the past few days and the only way to see anything was by their tails. The thermometer hit 96 degrees and I stood on dried mud staring at glimpses of fish I knew I would not catch.

I walked by his bench and he tipped his bag at me. He could just be askew or maybe he was acknowledging a parallel situation, or the fact that any passerby would quicken their step to get past either one of us.

I could get out of this. A quick drive home and I’m back in regiment. I doubt he had any means of breaking down his frustrations into four pieces and locking them in a PVC tube under the hatchback.

Trout Tail

Tuesday, August 3rd, 2010

We like the spots.

Reaping the Whirlwind

Monday, July 26th, 2010

I took this picture to disprove the myth. Look a banana on board, while catching fish. Ha ha!

Since I took this picture my magazine got sold and moved to Florida, my cat got messed up, I got tagged doing 80 in a 45, and  I broke my best rod hours before my best trip.

I have brought this on myself. As the late great John Belushi said, “that’s not bad luck that’s dumb luck.”

The Last Straw: One of my best buds drunk dials me and I listen to the message for the vicarious value, and he’s doing laundry by himself at midnight because his dog threw up on the bed and his wife is vexed. He is drinking rum and listening to Hootie and the Blowfish. So vile and absurd is the mental imagery that I cannot process it.

Enough. Whatever I did to offend the gods of fishing and sensibility, whatever demons of poor choices in music I have unleashed, I take it back.

Suburban Waterfowl Hierarchies, Carp

Wednesday, July 21st, 2010

The swans kick the crap out of the geese, the geese beat on each other, and everyone pretty much leaves the ducks alone.

The swans at the one pond had four cygnets in the spring but two of them disappeared. The raccoons got to them, according to a third party observer.

Unless you count creek chub, the carp are the only game fish in the ponds and the one creek. Every few days two old European guys, I believe they are Hungarian, set up long carp rods, rest them on stands, sit in lawn chairs and smoke hand-rolled cigarettes.

The carp seem to do what they want to do when they want to do it and when they just loaf around it’s a long day for the Hungarians and me, too, and the bird watching is a pretty cool diversion.

You Need The Glory

Monday, July 19th, 2010

Florida Peacock 2009

This is a picture of the last peacock bass I caught last year.

I’d been shut out at Donuts, Fitness, and the Church Yard and I pulled into the lot behind the drug store. I’d hooked and lost the biggest largemouth bass of my life in the canal there the year prior.

The canal runs along the westbound side of a divided road. A construction crew, adding a third lane to accommodate congestion, stood on the opposite bank around a front loader. They all turned and stared at me when I cut through the the bushes and made my way along the sloped bank.

The canal cuts underneath a berm built for road access to the frontside of the strip mall that houses the drug store. The water funnels through a large concrete pipe. Being a lefty, I turned my back to the pipe and dropped a back cast towards its opening. When the fly landed, I gave a quick strip and the peacock hit with a loud and menacing splash.

The peacock jumped and the construction crew started to whoop and holler. The guy driving the loader jumped out of his seat and ran down to the bank. “What kind of fly is that?” he shouted at me across the canal. I didn’t even know its proper name.

“A little Puglisi fiber ditch thing,” I shouted back.

“They get bigger than that,” he shouted as I held up the fish. “They get real big.” He still raised two thumbs-up over his head.

I released the fish and they stood around watching me, waiting for me to cast again. Most of the time I walk these ditches by myself, with no accounting for anything unless I snap a picture and blog about it. Catching a fish is not even necessarily any real achievement if you think about it, but if you don’t, there’s no shame in the satisfaction should you walk away thinking, Damn it feels good to be a gangster.

Do You See the Tailing Carp?

Friday, July 16th, 2010

How about now?

Gun Play

Tuesday, July 13th, 2010

Dave was a country lawyer and a trout fisherman and a friend of my father. I had recently learned to cast, and my dad arranged for him to take along me and a buddy. Dave had permission from a dairy farmer to fish a small stream that cut through his pastures. The stream held wild brown trout.

We pulled off a back road in the hills of Central New York into a muddy lot in front of a barn. Muck covered our shoes before we could switch into waders. Dave wore old-fashioned hip boots and carried a fly rod and an ultra-light spinner rigged with a Mepps. Before he closed his trunk he reached into a leather case and pulled out a pouch of Red Man and a .38.

“Snapping turles,” he said and holstered the pistol on his belt.

The stream ran faster and shallower than I expected and we walked along the bank until Dave stopped at a bend with a pool and made a cast. He quickly hooked into and landed a 14-inch brown trout. I had never seen one and he held it up so we could look at its yellow belly and black and red dots.

“Walk down to the next bend and start casting,” he said. I walked downstream and didn’t really know what to do. I drifted a nymph and hooked bottom. I tied on a streamer and cast cross stream and felt a tug. My first brown trout, barely larger than the palm of my hand.

I walked back up and Dave and my buddy were standing next to the pool. Dave had the pistol in his hand and he raised it and pointed at the water.

I heard Pop, Pop, and he lowered the pistol and stepped into the stream in his hip boots. He held up a snapping turtle by its tail, its shell cracked open.

“You think it’s a rock and then it’s moving and it’ll bite your toes off,” he said and threw it up on the bank. Then he walked ahead along the stream to look for more trout.

Suburban Mobile Death Squad

Monday, July 12th, 2010

Pipe bomb? No Cochise. A DIY rod tube, gleaned from the pages of the Roughfisher encyclopedia.

Here are said parameters. Lately, with an hour to fish and the nearest saltwater access a half hour away, and the 10  minute effort of suiting up the waders and stripping basket, the need arises to adapt. Months of recon and a built-in nav unit have helped distill the fishable waters within a 15-minute radius to an efficient loop reminiscent of a squad car patrol.

The suburbs rank for raising children but on the fishing Richter scale they register barely above zero. No matter. The fish available don’t know they’re supposed to suck. And with an ocean in the backyard, the banks are usually freed up to assail them in solitude.

I’ll take the hour. The all-purpose six-weight and dime-store reel remain ready in the front seat.

Tail

Thursday, July 8th, 2010

Self betrayal in the name of gluttony.

Casting Poppers

Wednesday, July 7th, 2010
Casting

My bro throwing some line.

When the fish are not biting and there’s nothing to do but keep casting, rhythm takes over. I’ll catch myself watching the line and thinking, this is beautiful. Not my  personal cast–I’m no rock star. But the idea of it is, that someone going back centuries put these physical principles together that are in play every time the line loads.

Stripping a popper back is another thing; the gurgling washes over the mind like Thorazine.

Popper Bass

Popper in the lip.

Then a largemouth hits and it’s enough of the metaphysical bullshit and let’s get on with it.