Category Archives: Pimped Content

Stuff linked to in order to reap the benefits of others hard work.

Seth Myers’ Fake Or Florida

The working thesis is that both I-75 and I-95 feed into the state, so every person in the midwest and the northeast who’s ranging from slightly off to full-on just heads south until they run out of options. Seth Myers’ new bit taps into the evidence supporting that theory, the insane Florida news cycle.

The good thing about the skit, and the continuous stream of news reports that inspired it, is that now people will believe us–we being the people with Florida roots who share personal anecdotes of encounters in this vein, only to have others think we’re making this shit up. (We are not.)

You don’t even need dig deep to experience it, just drive down any stretch of Federal Highway until you come across a Denny’s. Spend 20 minutes inside after midnight and you’re good to go.

The Two Best Will Ferrell SNL Sketches Ever

With all due respect to the famous “cowbell” skit, which incredibly mixes Christopher Walken, Blue Oyster Cult and banded bottom shirts, there is another VHL Storytellers parody involving Will Ferrell that’s even better:

Neil Diamond: VH1 Storytellers

And, as long as we’re going down this road, there’s another I’d put up there with any of them. As Mr. Tarkanian, the Angry Boss. (Note with appreciation the little dance he pulls off at 3:04.)

Striped Bass and Cataclysmic Space Rocks

The website space.com has an article up detailing the lasting effects of the interstellar object, estimated between five and miles in diameter, that crashed into earth at the spot now known as the Chesapeake Bay Crater.

Without this epochal event, there is no Chesapeake Bay and no striped bass fishing as we know it today. Stuff to think about, walking the beach.

FULL ARTICLE

The Fine Art of Screaming

In Murray Hill there used to be an Irish bar called Clery’s that had six-dollar pitchers for happy hour. The broke 20-somethings from the publishing house would migrate there after work because you could have a good night for $15–two pitchers plus tips and a dollar for the jukebox.

The jukebox must have been upgraded with a timely 90s hit package, because it had Nirvana’s In Utero placed incongruously close to the Counting Crows. Our buddy Bob-O always put on “Scentless Apprentice” and loved how it stopped many patrons mid-conversation. It might be the best screaming song ever.

There’s an art to a good scream in a song, where it’s not just a scream for screaming’s sake and in a way it adds musicality to it. A good scream is different than a call and response or a “Hey” shout (my two favorites in that category being “Punch You in the Eye” and “Ain’t Talkin’ Bout Love“).

The good scream might be words but it also doesn’t necessarily sound like it is, as evidenced in here:

There’s also what would be better described as spoken word screaming, perfected by Captain Beefheart:

(Who no doubt was heavily influenced by the original, Howlin’ Wolf.)

There are a ton of bad screaming songs, so much so to give the scream a bad name, but the good ones light you up in a way that other songs can’t touch. When Bob-O played it at Clery’s it had a better effect than we could have hoped for.

Quotes!

Today is inspirational quote day at the bivouac. Such things tend to happen during hardboiled phases when it’s easier to assemble snippets of something someone else said and be done with it:

“Everyone is influenced by everybody but you bring it down home the way you feel it.” –Thelonious Monk

“You do a commercial you’re off the artistic roll call forever.” –Bill Hicks

“If people think it sucks, then so fucking what? You’re going to keep going.” –Mike Watt

“Am I so sane that I just blew your mind?” –Cosmo Kramer

“I examine my skin searching for the pore with EXIT over it.” –Bill Knott (Click link for context)

“Just phase out, breathe in, wear sandals and pretend it’s a fine world.” --Charles Bukowski

“A great many people think of feet. And socks.” –Gertrude Stein