Rolling Through Tweekerville

Last month in a certain undisclosed small town in Central Florida, a fishing cohort and I went through a drive-thru. The kid in the window exposed his arm tats when he reached out with the food bag. He  had no teeth. My buddy opened up all the wrappers in the bag. “A tweeker touching your food can’t be good,” he said.

Roll through enough rural areas in pursuit of fish and you’re bound to hit a tweeker town. A scraggly dude or two will be loitering near the gas pumps and they’re sizing you up, waiting to see if you forgot to hit the key fob on your way in to use the restroom.

A tweeker might actually talk to you, try to seem legit despite his edge, “Building model airplanes,” he tells you*and then asks for a dollar for gas money.

I’ll be rolling through a Tweekerville  tomorrow en route to fishing. I’ll be covering up my stuff with a blanket in the back–that’s a top notch secret security trick. But, having read articles in the past about tweeker break-ins at boat ramps and river-access parking points, I’m wondering–despite what I paid for some of my gear–how much quick cash can a desperate person make hawking worn-out boots and  dinged up reels? What pawn shop is going to buy a fly rod with thrice bent eyes?

Like the people in the City who put stickers on their cars saying, “No Radio,” maybe I’ll put a sign in my back window saying, “Trunk full of stupid  fly fishing shit.” I should be left alone.

*blatant rip-off of a Tommy Boy line.

8 thoughts on “Rolling Through Tweekerville”

  1. Nice,

    Or, you might find your vehicle adorned with gang signs and the windshield totally covered with black spray paint…..they weren’t tweekers though as it was in an area with million dollar mansions. Just spoiled rich kids trying to act like gangstas…..

  2. “What pawn shop is going to buy a fly rod with thrice bent eyes?”

    Shakespeare couldn’t have said it better. I too use the blanket method of truck back seat security. I ran into a tweeker with an interesting take on his patter. He asked if I had a quarter for 25 pennies. Who wants 25 pennies these days? I bet most folks just give him the quarter. They filled out a nice spot in the penny jar on my counter at home… Hey, he broke even…

  3. Pete,

    I may have told you of my experience in upstate NY, but there is a microcosm that could be considered a tweekerville in Oniontown, NY. Please google it, but promise never to go. We escaped sans windows in my friends subaru and perhaps barely our lives. Youtube has some great footage of idiot kids rolling through Oniontown doing just what we did. I think however that the tweekers in Oniontown more resemble flesh-eating zombies than strung out meth heads.

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